The Plan That Could Not Fail
by Red Witch
Summary: Red has come up with an idiot proof plan. Unfortunately for him, the idiot he's trying to get rid of is Zim.


**Purple and Red took off with the disclaimer saying that I don't own any Invader Zim characters. MADNESS! THIS IS MADNESS PEOPLE!**

**The Plan That Could Not Fail**

"Are you **sure** this will work, Red?" Purple asked.

"**Of course** this will work," Red huffed. "This time we'll get rid of Zim once and for all!"

"That's what you've said the last twelve times," Purple reminded him. "And each time Zim manages to not only get away, but make things worse for us!"

"Yeah well this time I've come up with a fool proof plan to eliminate Zim the Menace!" Red told him. "It's simple. I told Zim we would send him a very special weapon to help him take over the Earth. And **not **to open the box and activate the device until we contacted him. I stressed that. In reality the device is an assassin drone programmed to attack anything, and I mean **anything** that moves on my command!"

"Okay, I'm with you so far…" Purple nodded.

"The plan is this: We call Zim and I activate the assassin drone," Red explained. "Assassin drone runs amok and kills Zim! And if by some miracle that Zim somehow manages to dodge the assassin drone, there's a self destruct sequence that will cause it to explode with enough power to take out half a moon!"

"Wow, that's pretty evil," Purple blinked. "I like it!"

"Exactly! This plan is so easy and simple a smeet could pull it off!" Red preened. "This is going to be so easy I almost feel sorry for Zim. **Almost."**

"Let's do it now! Let's do it now!" Purple cackled. "I wanna see Zim **get it!"**

"Yeah let's give it to that obnoxious little runt," Red cackled. He turned on the communicator and waited for Zim to answer.

The problem was that he didn't. "What the hell? Where is that idiot?" Red snapped as they waited and waited for Zim to answer.

"Figures, the one time we **want **to talk to that stupid little maniac, he doesn't pick up!" Purple was exasperated.

"Just be patient…" Red gritted his teeth. "He'll pick up sooner or later."

Much later…An hour actually…

"Any minute now…" Red looked like he was going to burst with anger. "Any minute now…"

"I **knew** it…" Purple sighed as he sat on a chair with his head in his hands. "I knew that idiot Zim would somehow…"

Be-Beep!

"Greetings my Tallest!" Zim's face finally appeared on the communicator.

"ZIM WHERE THE FLORK HAVE YOU BEEN?" Red shouted. "I've been trying to call you for an hour!"

"My apologies my Tallest, but I was currently detained at that horrid Skool," Zim explained. "Apparently they have rules there about trying to set fellow students on fire. Have you ever heard of something so **stupid?**"

"Interesting choice of words," Purple quipped as he joined Red on screen.

"Doesn't matter…Don't care," Red was almost twitching with anticipation of seeing his worst nightmare be blown up into tiny bits in front of him. "Okay Zim! You know that box we sent you? The one with the very powerful weapon? I need you to open the box!"

"I already opened it my Tallest," Zim said. "Some ultimate weapon. It didn't do anything."

"YOU DID **WHAT?**" Red yelled. "Zim I told you **not** to open the box until I contacted you!"

"You did?" Zim blinked.

"YES!" Red yelled.

"Oh…I didn't hear that part," Zim thought. "So it wasn't going to work until you gave me the access codes?"

"Something like that, yes…" Red hissed through his teeth.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh," Zim nodded. "Well that explains it. No wonder it didn't do anything even after I took it apart and tried to make some improvements on it."

"Yes…That's why," Red snarled.

"I guess it was rather premature of me to send it back for repairs wasn't it?" Zim asked.

"You did **what?**" Purple yelled.

"Where exactly did you **send** it?" Red's eye twitched.

"Sir! Sir! We have a distress call from Repairotron, the machine and weapons repair planet," An Invader called out to them.

"Never mind, we found it…" Red sighed. "Tallest out!" He shut off the communicator. "Don't want to talk to that little freak anymore now that he's not gonna get blown up!"

"Uh my Tallest, I think you'd better see for yourself how bad the situation is on Repairotron," An Invader gulped as he put the planet on a screen.

"But that wasn't supposed to activate until…" Purple began.

"Until Zim fooled around with the circuitry and screwed it up!" Red snapped.

"According to reports my Tallest, at least half the planet has been wrecked, several repair factories have been destroyed and nearly half the slave labor population has either escaped in stolen starships or been killed," An Invader remarked.

"Freedom! Freedom!" Several aliens were fighting and beating up the Irken slave masters.

"And the rest of the slaves are revolting," The Invader finished. "Rather successfully I'm afraid."

"Of course they are," Red sighed. "Call in the nearest armada and tell them to put down the revolution on that planet!"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"Uh you mean what's **left** of that planet, Sir?" The Invader gulped.

"Ooh that's a real big fire isn't it?" Purple blinked.

"I can't stand it…" Red hit his head repeatedly on the wall. "I can't **stand** it!"


End file.
